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Blended Families

Millions of new stepfamilies are formed each year, and each one represents a unique blending of the old and the new. The books listed below are the most useful guides to this complex and long process.

One of the biggest hurdles is getting over the idea that the new, blended family should immediately “feel like a family.” The truth is – it just doesn’t, at first.

These books offer useful strategies for building a solid foundation for a new family, and good ideas for dealing with the difficulties along the way.

See also: Family Issues; Parenting: Birth to Twelve Months; Parenting: Toddlers to Pre-Teen; Parenting: Teenagers; Communication


Recommended Self Help Books on Blended Families

"These are the self help books I recommend most
frequently
for my clients in blended families or step
families who are working to build a strong family unit."

David Yarian, Ph.D.      


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Recommended Self-Help Books on Blended Families

Self Help Book on Blended Families: Blending Families - A Guide for Parents, Stepparents, and Everyone Building a Successful New Family by Elaine Shimberg Blending Families: A Guide for Parents, Stepparents, and Everyone Building a Successful New Family
Elaine Shimberg

Today more Americans are part of a second marriage family than a first. These newly blended families are confronted with special challenges – emotional, financial, disciplinary, and interpersonal. This problem-solving guide offers solid solutions and includes real-life stories from families who have been through the adjustment process. 
1999, Berkley Publishing Group

Self-Help Book on Blended Families: Old Loyalties, New Ties - Therapeutic Strategies with Step-Families by Visher and Visher Old Loyalties, New Ties: Therapeutic Strategies with Step-Families
Emily Visher and John Visher

The authors point out that blended families are new family systems with the challenge of absorbing old loyalties and new relationships into a new integration. They emphasize that it is unrealistic to expect stepfamilies to recreate or in any way be like former families. The authors offer concrete ways to deal with the many changes and losses which have occurred.  
1988, Brunner/Mazel

Self Help Book on Blended Families: Step-by-Step Parenting - A Guide to Successful Living with a Blanded Family by James Eckler

Step-by-Step Parenting: A Guide to Successful Living with a Blended Family
James Eckler

This book is a helpful guide to building successful blended families. Issues addressed include the role of the stepparent, name changes, discipline, rivalries among stepsiblings, marital communication and dealing with extended family. 
1993, Betterway

Self-Help Book on Blended Families: Stepfamilies by Bray and Kelly Stepfamilies
James Bray and John Kelly

Based on a NIH study conducted by the authors over a nine-year period, Bray and Kelly identify three general types of stepfamilies – the Neotraditional, the Matriarchal, and the Romantic. They found Neotraditional stepfamilies, which eventually look somewhat like traditional nuclear families, have the best success of surviving the trials and disappointments of stepfamily life, while Romantics either fail or develop into other kinds of stepfamilies, and Matriarchals see varying degrees of success. The book offers inspiring insight into how successful stepfamilies do it. 
1999, Broadway

Self Help Book on Blended Families: Stepcoupling - Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family by Wisdom and Green Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family
Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green

Blending two existing families into one cohesive whole is the challenge facing millions of remarried Americans today. Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters -- all can chisel away at your union if you don't always make your marriage a priority. This invaluable remarriage manual can help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.
2002, Three Rivers Press

Self Help Book on Blended Families: Step-Fathering by Mark Rosin Step-Fathering
Mark Rosin

Author Mark Rosin tells his own story as a stepfather and interviews more than fifty stepfathers. Issues addressed include becoming a step-father, handling discipline and authority, communication with the wife and mother, dealing with the non-custodial father, money issues, and the rewards of step-fathering. This is an encouraging and hopeful book. 
1987, Simon and Schuster

Self Help Book on Blended Families: The Step-Parent's Survival Guide - Positive Advice for Achieving a Successful Step-Family by Hilary Boyd The Step-Parent's Survival Guide: Positive Advice for Achieving a Successful Step-Family
Hilary Boyd

Author Mark Rosin tells his own story as a stepfather and interviews more than fifty stepfathers. Issues addressed include becoming a step-father, handling discipline and authority, communication with the wife and mother, dealing with the non-custodial father, money issues, and the rewards of step-fathering. This is an encouraging and hopeful book. 
1998, Ward Lock Limited

Self-Help Book on Blended Families: Stepwives - Ten Steps to Help Ex-Wives and Step-Mothers End the Struggle and Put the Kids First by Oxhorn, Oxhorn-Ringwood and Krausz Stepwives: Ten Steps to Help Ex-Wives and Step-Mothers End the Struggle and Put the Kids First
Louise Oxhorn, Lynne Oxhorn-Ringwood, Marjorie Krausz

Once bitter enemies (Louise married Lynne's ex-husband), the authors, with the assistance of psychologist Krausz, created a ten-step program called Co-Mamas to help ex-wives and step-mothers build a healthy relationship that puts children first. The book offers practical suggestions for developing empathy and learning to lessen tension and support the children caught in a divorce.
2002, Fireside

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