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| The Guide to Self-Help Books |
Self-Help Central Issue Number 1 |
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We've added a new section to The Guide to Self-Help Books just for you. Click on For Therapists to view. Included are sections on how we use Self-Help books in conjunction with psychotherapy; comments from colleagues on their methods of using Self-Help books; references to research articles which look at the efficacy of using Self-Help books; and some testimonials from psychotherapists, educators, medical professionals, meditation teachers and others regarding The Guide to Self-Help Books. We invite your suggestions for additional Self-Help resources to
add to the Guide. We're always interested in learning about
solid books which have proven their usefulness! |
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Most of us carry on a running internal dialogue at all times. It is as if our lives are a sporting event on television and there is a panel of psychic sports commentators hunched over their microphones doing a play-by-play of the action. Too often, the person at the "negative commentary" microphone hogs the show! The unseen producer has the volume on that mike turned up, and the other microphones are muted or turned off entirely. What comes through in this ongoing psychic play-by-play is often quite negative, harsh, critical -- as if someone is screaming: "You idiot! You should have known not to get in this lane. Of course it's going to be the slowest!" Or: "You always do it wrong. Everybody else knows how to do this, but YOU..." Imagine how a real-life football game would unfold if the quarterback had these voices echoing in his head while he is on the field, calling and executing plays under intense pressure. It's safe to say his performance would be less than optimal. The same is true for us, as we listen to negative or doubting or critical or pessimistic voices in our heads. "This speech probably won't go well." "I'm always unlucky -- good things never happen to me." It can take tremendous focus and extraordinary expenditure of energy to function at our best when we are distracted by a chorus of silent negativity echoing within our minds. These negative and critical voices are likely to be the loudest when one is tired, hungry, lonely, sad, sick -- or in some kind of emotional or physical pain. When one's strength or resistance is lowered, it seems the negative voices only gain in strength and intensity. The conscious and intentional use of positive affirmations is a powerful way to counter these voices of negativity within. It is important to emphasize that what we are suggesting here is not self-hypnosis or an attempt to "psych" yourself into believing something which at the moment you don't believe. No, the use of positive affirmations is simply to rebalance the internal dialogue, to add more positive voices to the mix. To return to our sports commentary analogy, using positive affirmations is akin to "producing your own show" -- unmuting the microphones before the commentators who are inclined to view the game in a more positive and compassionate light, thus giving these voices more air time in the internal dialogue. In fact, as I tell my clients, it is not important that they believe the affirmations as they are speaking or reading them. The benefit occurs through simply adding positive and affirmative statements into the ongoing dialogue within. This slowly begins to shift the balance toward a more optimistic, compassionate and self-accepting way of relating to oneself. Try an experiment. Make a list of five simple affirmative statements about yourself. Go through the list and edit out any negative, ambivalent or pessimistic language until the statements are unequivocally positive. Examples:
Read through your list four or five times a day -- for a week. Let yourself hear the words without trying to analyze them or debate about whether they are true. Don't worry if you don't feel anything immediately -- there's no magic here. But there is a kind of magic, over time, in practicing self-compassion -- acts of kindness and generosity directed towards oneself. The world can be a hard place -- do we really need to make things more difficult for ourselves? Imagine yourself as a friend -- to yourself! Positive affirmations are a way of rebalancing the too-often negative internal dialogue, by adding in some consciously chosen words of kindness, compassion and optimism. I dare you to try it! Books that offer useful tips on using affirmative self-talk: Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your
Life, Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the
Heart of a Buddha, by Tara Brach What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, David Yarian, Ph.D. is the creator of The Guide to Self-Help Books, http://www.Books4SelfHelp.com and co-author of Self-Help Central, an ezine to help you build a better life with self-help resources. He is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in Nashville, TN. He writes self-help articles on stress relief. (c) 2005 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print
or on your website as long as the paragraph above is included. |
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One of my favorite mindfulness authors is Thich Nhat Hanh -- and my favorite book is Peace Is Every Step: the Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. This book was David's Pick of the Week for the week of February 21, 2005. It is now archived in Previous Picks; click on extensive review to read his archived review of this book. Peace is Every Step is simply written in short chapters that can be read each day as a reminder to nourish awareness and mindfulness. This book encourages me to be in touch with my breath as I go through my days, awake and alive to each moment as it is unfolding. So, right now, as you read this, I would encourage you to become conscious of the life-sustaining presence of your breath in this moment. Notice that you are breathing in and that you are breathing out. What does it feel like in your body to breathe in? What is the feeling of breathing out? What is the difference between the inhalation and the exhalation? Where do you notice the presence of the breath in your body? Do you feel the presence and energy of the breath in the nostrils, in the throat, in the lungs, in the belly? Take a few moments to really feel the touch of the breath inside your body. With each outbreath, begin to relax as you let your shoulders fall away from your ears. As you breathe in, you can mentally say to yourself, "I know that I am breathing in." As you breathe out, say to yourself, "I know that I am breathing out." You can shorten those phrases to "in" as you breathe in and "out" as you breathe out. For the next few breaths, allow 95% of your awareness to remain on the physical feeling of the breath and perhaps 5% of your awareness to rest on the soft mental naming of "in" with inbreath and "out" with outbreath. After a few breaths, what do you notice? What effect does this awareness of the breath have on you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? Now, as you breathe in, say to yourself: "May I open to the presence of calm within me." As you breathe out, say to yourself, "May I continually dwell in the present moment with gratitude and joy." Take several opportunities to be aware of your breath today! Sandi Anders, M.Div., R.Y.T., is a contributor to The Guide to Self-Help Books, http://www.Books4SelfHelp.com and co-author of Self-Help Central, an ezine to help you build a better life with self-help resources. She teaches stress mastery skills through psycho-spiritual life coaching, and yoga and meditation instruction. She writes self-help articles on stress management and has produced a best-selling relaxation CD. (c) 2005 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print
or on your website as long as the paragraph above is included. |
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It comes ready to play with three biofeedback finger sensors. You then control the game with breathing and relaxation techniques, through the power of your thoughts, feelings, breath and awareness. Not just a game, it's a tool for physical and mental health. Pretty cool, huh! Breathe faster and balls float higher into the air. Breathe slower and more relaxed and balls float to the ground. It's simply magical to see objects floating on the computer screen in response to your body. This game is the first "inner-active" computer adventure that combines ancient breathing and meditation techniques with modern biofeedback technology for total mind-body wellness. Whether you are 7 or 70, you can use this amazing tool to see a vivid demonstration of the visible effects of invisible actions like breathing, feeling, and relaxing. This game "trains people to think and feel in new ways. To be more creative, more imaginative, and to inspire to a much larger awareness . . ." Jean Houston, Ph.D., Author, The Possible Human "This enchanting game is like having Yoda in your living room! It trains you in mind/body/spirit magic. Become a warrior of the heart, learn to harness the power of your intention, and create a conscious life- all while having fun." Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., Author, Minding the Body, Mending the Mind You might want to acquire this outstanding product for yourself, your children or granchildren! Anyone can benefit from these yoga and mindfulness techniques. Click on Journey to learn more about it. This unique game is designed to help the player create peace and
harmony within and know the innate power that we all posses to
influence what is happening in our body, our mind and our
emotions. |
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David's Pick of the Week -- a special book review -- will be updated every Monday evening. Look for it on David's Pick of the Month! Recent additions to The Guide to Self-Help Books: In the Intimate Relationships Self-Help Books Section:
In the Gay and Lesbian Issues Self-Help Books Section: If you have not already done so, please visit our other new sites: That's all for this issue. We look forward to your comments,
questions or suggestions. |
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