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| The Guide to Self-Help Books |
Self-Help Central Issue Number 9 |
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With curiosity, courage and a venturesome spirit, life becomes a Voyage of Discovery as we chart a course through unknown territory. The challenge of moving into the unknown on a sea- journey may mean dealing with life-threatening storms as well as periods of calm with no apparent forward movement. There may be times of proceeding with great caution to avoid shoals and reefs and other navigational hazards. Occasionally there is the challenge of extricating oneself after making a navigational error and running aground. As a sailor I could go on and on about this metaphor for life’s uncertain course. But my point in this 2-part series is to focus on a couple of activities adapted from the voyaging life which can add immensely to experiencing success and satisfaction in life. The first, most basic activity is to have a clear idea of where we want to go. That idea may be as specific as "Australia" or as diffuse as "a fulfilling career" or even "success". When one begins a voyage at sea, the helmsman steers towards a selected destination. The navigator consults his charts and notes weather conditions and any hazards along the way. Then, taking wind and tide and current into consideration, a course is set. This course will likely be modified as the voyage continues, to adapt to changing conditions - or even a decision to head for a different destination than the one originally chosen. There will always be mid-course corrections! Without a clear idea of where we are heading - and without some tools (compass, sextant, GPS, maps and charts) to stay on course - it is likely that our journey will be somewhat aimless. This can lead to frustration, and a sense that one is drifting through life. What if we do not know "exactly" where we are going? What if part of the exploration is about discovering where we want to go? And even - what if the journey IS the destination? Our seagoing analogy is somewhat inexact because there is not really a chart or map that reveals a clear direction for one’s life journey. Thus it is important to have a methodology for staying attuned to our inner compass, which allows for constant adjustments so that the life course (what we actually do with our finite lives) approximates what we really want. In the voyage of life we will have a whole series of destinations, which I like to call dreams. Dreams are different from "goals" in that they more directly express our deepest longings, and initially are not at all focused on how to realize them. I believe we too quickly pass over our heart’s yearnings and our true desires and are tempted to trim them down into something we already know how to do. It’s less scary that way. What if, for a moment, you allow yourself to just dream? You become a kid again, lying on your back in the soft grass under a bright summer sky filled with towering white clouds - a canvas upon which you can project whatever your mind wants to see. What if you let go of practicalities for right now and let your mind wander - what do you see? After you let go of the worries and the unfinished business and any self-consciousness about doing such a silly thing as cloud- gazing, what comes up? A loved one whom you miss? A yearning to travel - or garden - or get a puppy? A book yet unwritten, or a love affair in which to delight? A contribution you want to make to the world, your family or your community? These are Big Dreams, and should not be diluted with petty practicalities. If Columbus or Edison or James Joyce had focused only on the difficulties and challenges of their life-projects, would we be the beneficiaries of their contributions? Big Dreams are not to be judged as to "worthiness", or whether they will be found acceptable by those around us. This is your Voyage - and your Dream. It takes a fierce determination to create the space in which a Big Dream can emerge. Sometimes a lot of cloud-staring is required to quiet the doubts and fears that arise to interfere with clear vision. Without a Big Dream, one’s Voyage of Discovery becomes something more like a dreary commute between places we know only too well. But let’s be clear - Big Dreams are scary. The old charts that pictured sea-monsters in the uncharted areas of the ocean were only expressing the reality that it is frightening to venture into the unknown. But one goes on a Voyage of Discovery in as sturdy a ship as possible, fully provisioned and armed with the best available information. As you look back on your life, you can probably see some challenging passages - which you survived, learned from, and which helped make you who you are today. All the ingenuity and creativity which you have used to get this far has not left you. Your problem-solving skills and your abilities to find and use resources accompany you on your voyage towards your Big Dreams. In Part II we will continue this analogy of life as a Voyage of Discovery, and focus on a practical tool for navigating through a life of unfolding adventure - the Success Log. More resources are listed in The Guide to Self-Help Books. Relevant sections of the Guide include Creativity, and Resilience. David Yarian, Ph.D. is the creator of The Guide to Self-Help Books, http://www.Books4SelfHelp.com and co-author of Self-Help Central, an ezine to help you build a better life with self-help resources. He is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist in private practice in Nashville, TN. He writes self-help articles on stress relief. (c) 2005 Permission is granted to reprint this article in print or on your website as long as the paragraph above is included. |
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GREAT NEWS!! The Guide to Self-Help Books, which sponsors this periodic newsletter, is ranking very high on Google searches – consistently on the FIRST PAGE (in the top ten!). Different search terms yield slightly different results. On Monday May 22, 2006, The Guide to Self-Help Books was number 1 (of 30,100,100 results) when the phrase self-help books was searched. The Guide was also number 1 (of 2,460,000) when “self help books” was the search term; number 7 (of 281,000,000) for books self help; number 6 (of 128,000,000) for self help book review; and number 2 (of 120,000,000) for the search term self help book reviews. Google accounts for 49% of all internet searches as of March 2006, according to Nielson/Net Ratings. 22% of internet searches are performed on Yahoo, and 14% on MSN. The Guide to Self-Help Books also shows up on Yahoo (#13, #15) and on MSN searches (#50). About 11,000 searches per month are seeking self-help books, according to Overture. We’re pleased and excited that people looking for reliable information, guidance and support are locating The Guide to Self-Help Books. We add recommended titles each month to the Guide’s 46 categories of self-help, personal growth and self-improvement books. Visit The Guide to Self-Help Books soon to see what’s new! |
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If you have not already done so, please visit our other new sites: That's all for this issue. We look forward to your comments,
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